Nate and I sat down the other day and talked about our life after Parker was born versus before. We remembered how it seemed like everybody tried to prepare us for a baby by telling us that our life would change forever.
Everyone from close family to strangers told us that it would be very hard and that we would never sleep again.
Well, they were wrong.
On the off chance that you are not already subscribed to my YouTube channel, you can watch some of our conversation here before you continue reading (and subscribe).
Now that I know you are caught up on the topic, I’d like to expand on what you didn’t see in the video.
Feeding
I breastfed Parker since the minute he was born (literally, the minute). As with most new experiences though, it took some time for both Parker and I to become comfortable with it. However, once we found our nursing groove, it was smooth sailing. His latch was so good that I didn’t even have to use nipple cream.
Our original plan was for me to breastfeed Parker until he was around one year old, but as you already know, I stopped producing milk at two and a half months.
When I pumped to measure my milk supply, I only produced 1.5 ounces. Babies should have 4 ounces! I was giving Parker less than half of what his little body needed.
I didn’t want to linger too much on the subject in the video, but it crushed my soul knowing that I was preventing my son from growing. Nate was the only one who didn’t make me feel worse about myself during that time. He is a saint.
Putting that sadness behind us, now we feed Parker with formula in a bottle and it was a huge blessing in disguise. Now he can eat as much as he wants in about 15 minutes, he burps amazingly, and I can still have one hand open to type this article!
Bottle-feeding is also great for taking Parker on trips in the car or just to the grandparent’s house. Ideally I will nurse our future babies for longer time, but I am no longer opposed to using a bottle anymore.
Lesson Learned: Breastfeeding is good, but bottles are more convenient for us.
Sleeping
When Parker was first born, he would wake up every 3-4 hours during the night to eat. That got old real fast…
If you bring it up with Nate, he will tell you how I hallucinated several different times because of sleep deprivation. I completely convinced myself that Parker was under me on the bed so when Nate walked in he saw me planking on the bed crying that I don’t want to hurt our son.
Why didn’t I at least roll over onto Nate’s side of the bed? Who knows, but we do know that this mom needs sleep!
In the video, we discussed how Nate likes to take naps, but I don’t. Normally Nate will force me to sleep in late on the weekends when he is home to help in order to keep up with the amount of sleep I need.
Otherwise, I will hallucinate again.
At six weeks old, Parker slept the entire night without waking up once! Maybe he was so tired from our road trip to Las Vegas, but it was fantastic.
Since then, we refused to feed him during the night, knowing that he didn’t need it anymore. He still woke up for several days after, but he eventually realized that he didn’t need to eat at night.
Today he is three and a half months old. He does cry sometimes at night, but only because of nightmares. From a parent standpoint, nightmares are much easier to deal with because all we need is a pacifier (which is always in his crib).
Lesson Learned: It is okay to train Parker to sleep early so I can sleep.
Socializing
Nate and I are typically extroverted social butterflies. We love being with family and friends, playing games, and chatting about everything. Let it be known that we did not want that to change just because we added a member to our family.
Granted, switching to a bottle with Parker makes me want to go out more, but he was an easy baby from the start.
We have no problem taking him to public places, including our three-hour church each Sunday. If he ever does get fussy, all it takes is the pacifier and a little bounce to calm him down.
It is deeply important to us to have quality time as a couple and as a family. Due to our family values, Nate and I make it a priority in our lives to still date and enjoy each other’s company. As demonstrated while playing Rummikub, we actually like to do activities together.
Unfortunately, we have seen couples whose sole focus is on their children and it can ruin their marriage. For us, we acknowledge that we were together before children and we want to be together after children too.
We know that if we are happy, our baby will be happy.
Lesson Learned: Parker is comfortable when we are comfortable.
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